Monday, July 18, 2011
As many of you know Cam is the one that has been occupying my all my time. That's why I haven't posted anything on the blog. I haven't had sex with anyone else but him. Some of it was just a fuck and some was...making love. Yes, I said it. Making love. He has me all twisted up. In mind, heart and sometimes it feels like my body as well. I guess in order to understand all I am going through you have to know it from the beginning. These are stories of what I think are the important aspects of our relationship within these last two months Just be fore warned. If you're looking for a sex story, this isn't it. So, you may stop reading now. This entry is not sexy. It's not about a conquest or even about sex. It's about what I am going through at this very moment. If you would like to know than continue.
It all started about two months ago. My friends invited me to go grab a bite to eat. I had said yes but at the last minute I was thinking about changing my mind. But decided not to because I had already promised I'd go. We went to Gloria's. (It's a restaurant here in Austin, TX) and we sat on the outside patio. We had a few drinks and were actually getting ready to head out. But decided to have one more round of drinks. Just than Cam walked by. I saw him thought he was cute. He looked at us and smiled. He walked over and I was a little caught off guard. "Why is he coming over?" I thought to myself. But he knew one of my friends, friend. He'll go by S. S and Cam talked for a bit. I looked at H (my friend I had agreed to go out with to eat with and brought S along) and told him I thought Cam was hot! S introduced him to all of us. I asked him to join us for one drink. He agreed. We talked for a about another hour. I thought he was straight when we first met but than admitted he had a boyfriend.We left and agreed to meet again for the weekend to go out. Before we left Cam and I exchanged numbers and accepted each other on Facebook. (lame I know) S and H asked what I was doing after dinner. I told them I was gonna have another drink. I asked if the wanted to join. The declined and left. I went home and posted on Facebook how I had a good night and met a new friend. Almost instantly Cam replied and said it was good meeting me too. I told him I was having a drink and if cared to join me. (Yes, I have to admit it I invited him because I thought he was cute. I was trying to get in his pants. I was buzzing and thought why not?) He didn't reply for about 10 minutes. I figured he wasn't interested. Than out of the blue he sent me a DM and asked for my address. I gave it to him and he came over about 20 minutes later. We talked and joked around. We got to know each other and had a good time. He did spend the night but there was no sex. He left the next morning because he had a class.
We met that Saturday night downtown. I had to work late and didn't show up until 11pm. I text everyone where I was. Cam was with H and S. I had told my girl S to meet me up with us. I wanted her opinion of Cam. I had to admit I was crushing on him a bit and she wanted to meet who was the guy that actually had me "excited". Everyone showed up and I introduced her. Right off the bat she said there was something off about Cam. We stayed there for a few and than decided to go to another bar. Cam and them had already gotten stamped and were able to just walk in. S and I had to wait in line and pay to get in. When we walked in I looked for everyone. I found H and S. I asked for Cam and they told me he had left with some friends. I imminently became mad. My gal S wasn't too happy either. I had gone there to see Cam and he disappears. I decided to make the best of it and have a few drinks and than leave. My family came to visit two days later and stayed for about a week and half. I didn't see or even talk to Cam for the entire time. Than out of the blue I saw he had posted something on Facebook. I decided to say hello. He responded a few minutes later. We did out pleasantries and he said that we should hang out soon. I agreed and he asked if now was good time. I said it was and told him to come over. We caught up and I told him how mad I had gotten at him for leaving that night. He told me he didn't leave. He had gone to go see some friend but he was still there. He told H and S where he had gone. I told him that they told me he had left. He got upset and swore he didn't. He than asked why was I upset that he had "left". I told him it was because I had a small crush on him. He smiled and told me he had a small crush on me too. We smiled at each other and than started kissing. We made out for like 2 hours than had sex. It was really good. We were so turned on by those two hours, we nearly ate each other up. The sex was very intense. He left in the morning but not before giving me a peck on my forehead. I was really crushing on him at this point. We hung out everyday for a week. One day we were watching tv at my place and I leaned in to kiss him. It had been almost a week since we fucked. He looked at me and said that he couldn't make out with me. He had a boyfriend. It caught me off guard a bit. I forgot that he did. The entire time we were hanging out he never mentioned him. I had completely forgot he had one until now. I smiled and walked away. But I was mad. I am falling for this guy who has a "boyfriend" who he never speaks about, never mentions and never makes an effort to call or see. There were a few times I was with him for literally 24hrs and he never made any attempt to call or see his boyfriend.
Well, Cam had a presentation for school and invited me to go. I went with a friend because I didn't want to be alone. Well, I know what Cam's boyfriend's name is (starts w/a B) because he's told me. But never knew what he looked like. I was talking to my friend when I heard someone in front of me say,"B you're so sweet to come and support Cameron." I immediately knew THAT was the boyfriend. I looked to get a good look at him. I saw him...he looks like a lesbian. I pointed him out to my friend. We both looked at each other and couldn't believe that was him. The presentation was over. I was trying to make my way to Cam. B was walking in front of me and walked up to Cam. Told him he couldn't stay longer and had to go. Cam barely looked at him and just said, "Thanks for coming B. I'll call you later." B just said "Ok" and walked right by him. I thought that was strange? I called out to Cam and he looked up, smiled and shook my hand. Saying it was a good to see me. We talked for bit. He told me to meet him at his place in an hour for drinks. I said that was fine. About an hour later I were at his place (Which he shares with another dude. He has a roommate. An older gay guy) and he invited a few friends over. We all just hung out and had a good time. I asked him if his boyfriend B was at the presentation. I described him and Cam said that was him. I was relieved and shocked to know who it was. Atleast I could put a face to the name but he didn't look like someone Cam would date. But than again everyone has their own taste. We all talked, laughed and had drinks and the entire night he never made any attempt to call or contact B in anyway, shape or form. Which I also found odd. I was really tired by 2am and decided to fall asleep in Cam's room. About an hour later Cam came in and told me everyone had left. He laid next to me. We both fell asleep right away. I woke up in the morning with him on his back with his legs open and one leg over mine and my hand was on his inner thigh. I moved my hand away for a bit than put it back. This time I rub his thigh and he moved a little. He lifted his arm around his eyes but didn't move his leg. A minute later he turned his head away from me. I moved my hand over his crotch. (He was wearing shorts and I was in my jeans) Needless to say he was hard. I played with his cock through his shorts for a few minutes. Than I started to undo his cargo shorts...and they're button fly.Took me about five minutes to get them undone. (I was usuing one hand. It's hard enough sometimes with two hands, let alone one) I finally got them open. I pulled his cock out and slowly played with him for a while. Than, I moved closer to suck it but he than "woke up" and held my head. He whispered "No, Jasen. I have a boyfriend remember.". I smiled and went for it again. He still held my head and repeated himself. I laid back on the bed but my hand was still in his shorts. I thought, NOW he has a boyfriend? He didn't seem to have one the other night when he had my legs wrapped around his waist and his cock buried in me filling me up with his cum. I stroked him for about five more minutes than stopped. I turned around and fell asleep for a few more hours. Finally, we both woke up. We laid there and talked a few. I was looking at my Twitter feed and reading them out load. But than I read this one out loud, "Male: I groped my best friends's boner while he was sleeping...he woke up. We aren't best friends anymore.". Cam just looked at me and asked if that was a real tweet or I just made it up. I showed him my phone to prove it was an actual tweet. He laughed and thought I was talking about what happened with us. I asked him what he was talking about. He said because he wakes up and I'm trying to give him head. I gave him a confused look. He than repeated "What?! I wake up to my cock in your hand and about to go in your mouth if I hadn't stop you. Like I said I have a boyfriend and can't be doing that. Now c'mon lets get some coffee or something.". He gets up and starts pulling up and buttoning his shorts and walks out to the kitchen. I started thinking about what he said. Wait a minute! His cargo shorts were button fly? How could he not "wake up" while I was undoing them? I was tugging on his shorts for like five minutes. And that didn't wake him up? And me slowly moving to suck his cock did? BULLSHIT! But whatever...I just rolled my eyes up and followed him but I still had questions.
"Well, than why isn't he here with you? Where is B?"
"Well, here's the deal Jase. B and I are together but we're not. We really haven't been a couple for a few weeks now."
"Than why are you still with him? Why say you're in a relationship or that you have a boyfriend when you act like you don't?"
"Only with you, Jase."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I like you. I really like you. I hope you don't think I don't take relationships seriously. I know that B and I aren't going to last very much longer. I give it a month maybe a month and a half at the most before we break up."
"Than why put up with it? Just end it."
"I can't. We've been together for three and a half years. He's done a lot for me. I don't want to hurt him. I'm waiting to let him do it."
"That's a shitty thing to do because you don't want to be the bad guy. So, in other words...we're just friends?"
"Do you just want to be friends?"
"I would like more. You know I like you too but I think in the current situation, friends is the best thing for us. Just friends."
Well, neither one of us kept to that promise.
(Even though I don't mention it Cam and I were having sex about every other day)
Earlier during the week we decided to join 24 hour Fitness. This way we could be our own motivators. It was going well. We were going everyday just about. He would drive to my place and than we would leave in my jeep or sometimes he would pick me up. Just depending what we had going on or how much gas we had? We were about to go work out when my girl S called about wanting to watch the midnight showing of Green Lantern. I told her I would try to find some tickets for us. I hung up and got online. Cam asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for tickets. I asked if he wanted to go. He said he did. I was able to get three tickets for us. We than left to go work out. Afterwards Cam left for work and I told S that Cam was coming with us. She wasn't too happy about it because of what he done that weekend she first met him. But she agreed to give him another chance. Perhaps it was just one of those things that happen. Later that night S and I hung out while Cam was at work. S picked me up because I took my jeep in to get a look at. It was making a funny sound. Around 10pm he called me. He asked what i was doing? I told him that I was at home. I had Cam on speaker which he didn't know about. S was listening...
"Hey, Jase are you home?"
"Yea, what's going on?"
"Nothing. We're going tomorrow to go work out, right?"
"Yes, as far as I know of. What time did you want to meet in the morning?"
" I want to go after class. I guess around 11ish?"
"No, I have to be at work at. noon."
"Well, maybe you can take the bus and meet me there and we could save some time?"
"NO, because I have to be at work at noon. There's no way that is gonna work."
"Well, maybe S (my girl) can take you? Either way you should get your jeep back in a few days. I guess we can start working out again after that? But We'll have to work something out because I am spending too much gas traveling sometimes to and your place and the gym."
"What?! Now, you tell me this? I asked you if you were cool with driving us to the gym. And possibly taking me to work and picking me up depending on the time. You said yes!"
S was staring at me like what an asshole! I couldn't believe this was coming from Cam. I mouth the words..."He's never been like this?"
"Well, I'm just saying because I'll driving to your place or to your job. Than go to the gym and than back to drop you off. I just don't have much gas. I am just thinking what I am gonna do..."
S is making faces at me and motioning me to hang up. At one point she almost hung up the phone for me.
"Is that the point?! You want gas money? Fine I'll give you money every time you come to my place or meet me anywhere!"
"No, Jase that's not what I am saying."
"That's what it sounds like to me! And don't worry I'll give you gas money tomorrow for your trip to the movie theater for Green Lantern."
"Jase, no! You get out at 9pm. I'll pick you up from work we'll go home so you can change and we'll leave from there. Ok?"
"No, I don't want you using any gas on me. I'll get S to come pick me up. Don't worry about it."
"Jase...ok. It looks like we're not going to get anything resolved right now. Either way I have to get back to B. How about I let you go and we'll talk more tomorrow...ok?"
I hung up with him and S looked at me..."Oh. no! It's to let him go...NOW!"
"He's with B and he's arguing with me on the phone?! WTF?!?!" The rest of the night S kept going on about how she had a "weird" feeling about him since the first night she met him. How much of an ass he sounds like and it's time for me to think about someone else. I was totally agreeing with her at this point. I was so mad I made a martini which quickly turned to four or five? Needles to say I was drunk. I went to work the next day a tad hungover. I was there for about 40 minutes when one of the girl called me and told me to come upfront.
I walked up front and guess who was at the register waiting for me...Cam.
"Can I talk to you, please?"
"Hey, J I'm gonna step outside for a few, ok?" She looked at me and than at Cam and back at me and just smiled. "Ok, I'll cover for you."
"Thanks." We walked out and started walking to his car.
"I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said what I said to you. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said some of the things I said."
"Well, B broke it off with me last night. That's the reason why I was upset. As soon as he told me I called you. I guess it pissed me off more than I thought it would?"
"Don't be sorry about it."
"That's right, I thought you were expecting it already?'
"I was but just the way he did it pissed me off. I was already worried about my gas. He made me drive to his place which is about half way across town. Just to tell me he wanted to break it off. I got so mad. I told him why couldn't he tell me that before driving over. He said he wanted to have sex too."
I busted out laughing.
"I would've had the sex first and than broke it off."
Cam says he didn't have sex with B that night after they break up.Looking back on it now I don't know if I believe he didn't?
"Well, I just wanted to say I am sorry about last night. I will pick you up at 9pm. We will go to your place, you can change and than we'll go to the movies, deal? You still are getting out at 9pm?".
"Yes, I am...and deal."
We both smiled at each other. We hugged each other. He drove off and I went back inside. I soon saw everyone looking through the glass. Through out the day Cam asked and made sure I was getting out at 9pm. I told him I was and I would be waiting for him. S asked what time we were meeting. I told her Cam is coming for me at 9pm. Should be there around 9:30pm the latest. Well, around 8:50pm I get a text from a number I didn't know.
Hey, Jase it's Cam. I have to run an errand. I'll be 20 min late.
Ok, I'll be inside. Just come look for me.
I was talking to one of the girls when I looked at my watch. It was 9:40pm. About a minute or two later cam walks in.
"Where have you been? It's 9:40 and I thought you said only 20 minutes?"
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time."
"What did you go do?"
" Ran into a friend. Had to go pick them up."
Just than S called asking where we were. I told her that Cam was running late. He just picked me up and we should be there in 30 minutes. I could tell by the tone of her voice, she was not happy. I ran in, showered and changed in record time. We made it to the theater. I looked for S and she was waiting by the door. We walked in and she didn't say a word to me. After a few minutes she calmed down. She talked to me but not a word to Cam. She didn't care much for him to begin with. This was not helping. I was in the middle of them both trying to talk to them both. It was very awkward...
After the movie Cam and I went back to my place. We talked for a bit and we fell asleep. The in the morning I woke up because I heard him talking to someone. I walked into the living room and he was on the phone. I walked back into my room. A few minutes later he walks in and sits next to me.
"My dad wants me to go see him this weekend. He wants me to leave tonight after work."
"Ok,,," Why is he telling me in a way that sounds like he's asking for permission. I guess maybe because a few weeks back he started referring to him and myself as "us" or "we". And he did say that we had a funny and interesting "relationship".
"Well, I wanna go out tonight before I leave. Can we?"
"Yea, sounds like fun. Let's! What time are you out?
"I don't know? I guess whatever time they decide to let me go.
"Ok, well I'll be here."
He smiled and and than shortly left for work. I felt like a "housewife". I had my iTunes on while I was doing my laundry, washing my dishes and cleaning my apartment. I was listening to music like Adele, Duffy, Sade and Diana Krall. I'm like WTF? I decided to go work out at the gym and swim a bit. But I was alone the entire time. I usually call people to do stuff like this with. Than I realized...Cam is the one I usually do this stuff with. Did this mean that since he was at work I didn't want to go with anyone else. I freaked out a bit and called my good friend, E. I told him everything. He said the impossible had happen. Someone domesticated me. I told him to shut the fuck up because I told him how I felt like a housewife earlier. He said that just confirmed it. He asked if I was going out or if MY husband and I had plans. I told him I was going out...with Cam. He laughed again and asked if we would mine another person. I told him to shut it and come over later. I got dressed and E showed up around 9ish. About 15 minutes later Cam showed up with bags of food. I asked what all this was. He said he brought us dinner from the restaurant. I introduced him to E and told him that he was coming out with us. He went to go change and than H and S called asking if we had left yet. I told him we hadn't because Cam just got out of work and was changing. He asked if he they could drop by because it was still early. I told him it was fine. H and S showed up we all had a few drinks and than decided to leave. We were having a good time but for some reason I couldn't get what Cam had told me the day earlier out of my head. Well, his explanation of why he was so late the other day. I guess it was the alcohol but I decided to ask once again.
"Why were you late again yesterday?
"I was with A."
"Who's A? I don't think I met A?"
"I told you who he was. I even showed you his picture."
H pulled out his phone and opened his Facebook app. He pulled up a picture of him. H and S looked also. And immediately knew who it was. He was a guy That Cam had fucked around with.
"He's flexible." H said.
"OH, YEA!" Cam said nodding and with a slight grin.
"Oh, so you were late because you were busy fucking. Very nice, Cam." I snapped at him and walked off. I heard Cam call my name a few times and took a few steps to follow me but I walked off to the restroom. I actually had to go. I came back and I saw everyone but Cam. I asked where he was and H pointed to him standing by the wall. I walked over to him.
"What are you doing over here? Everyone is over there."
"Yea, but some one is mad at me at this moment."
"You think Cam? How can I not be mad? I was at work waiting for you for forty minutes because you said were running an "errand" with a friend. When you were actually fucking! Of, course I'm mad!"
"I didn't I had to explain to you what I was doing? We agreed to just be friends"
"Yes, we did . You don't have to explain anything to me. You could have just been honest with me. That's all I'm asking of you. If you wanted to go fuck someone that's fine. You just could have said that instead of having me wait for you. I could have gotten a ride home with someone and just waited for you there until you were finish."
"I'm sorry, Jase. I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea or think differently of me. I didn't want to be mean."
"Mean? If you were mean by making me wait for you. So, we ended being late to the theater. And S was mad the entire time for arriving late and making her wait!"
"I'm sorry! I won't do it again."
"Really? What am I suppose to think now whenever you're running late?"
"What? You're not gonna trust me anymore?"
"How can I? What do you think is gonna pop in my head every time you tell me that you're running late."
"I'm sorry, ok! If you want I'll make you my first priority! You'll come first to anything or anyone else from now on!"
"Cam, I'm not asking you to do that. I'm not asking you to make me your first priority but if you say your gonna do something, than do it. Don't be telling me all day you're gonna pick me up and than at the last minute you text me, from the other dudes phone to tell me that you are running late!"
"Just be honest with me. That's all, ok."
For a good long while Cam and I were fine. We talked, joked around and enjoyed ourselves. We decided to go to another club.We were there for about an hour. We danced had a blast. Than We decided to leave. I was following everyone but it was so crowded that I became separated from everyone. I went around the club once. Just when I was at the exit I see someone walk by me...its was A. (The reason why Cam was late the day before.) And all my anger just rushed back to me. Just at that second I hear someone call my name. I looked to the door and it was Cam. He waved his arms and called me over. I walked over to him.
"What happened to you Jase? You got lost?"
"No you left me behind."
"No you were right behind us and I guess we got separated?"
"I saw your little friend. Did you?"
"Is that why you lost me?" I know at this point I know I was being stupid. I waoth out for blood. s just picking at him. But I had to unleash. Having alcohol in my system, being angry and half Puerto Rican...aren't a good combination. I started lashing out.
"I didn't loose you! You got separated from us that's all."
"You were probably talking to your friend that's why you lost me."
"NO...I was looking for you this entire time."
"Whatever!" And I walked pass him.
"DAMN IT JASEN! How many time do I have to apologize to you? I'M FUCKING SORRY!"
We walked from the club to the parking garage fighting and screaming at each other the entire time. E was ta the car waiting for us. We started walking down into the garage.
"I don't know why you're being such an ass about all this? I told I was sorry!"
"Yea. what if I didn't say anything? Would you have said something to me?"
I turned around and started walking back up. I call H and told him I am going to need a ride home. He asked what happened. I told him I didn't want to talk about it. But if he could pick me up at the garage. He told me he was on his way. Just as I hung up, Cam pulls up.
"Get in the car Jasen."
"Get in the fucking car!"
I walked up and got sat in the back seat. The entire ride we drove in silence to my apartment. We pulled up to my building and we all got out. Cam and I walk upto each other and just stare at each other.
"Jase, don't get so close to me right now. I'm fucking pissed off and if you get so close I'm gonna hit you!"
"Than do it! I'm not moving."
"Jase...MOVE!" At that moment I saw an anger that frighten me. I had seen it before in one of my ex's. Needless to say that relationship wasn't a good one. I stepped back. E got between us and tried to push us apart. In his drunken state he still tried to be the voice of reason.
"Please don't fight. Don't fight." I grabbed E by the waist and kissed his cheek.
"Please go inside. We're not gonna fight."
"Please don't fight..."
"E, I promise we won't. Please go in." Than Cam kissed his cheek and repeated what I said.
"E, I promise we won't. Please go in. Look There's Jasen's balcony. Go in and you can see us from there."
E agreed and left upstairs.
"I'm sorry Cam. Didn't mean to act like I did."
"No! You can't say I'm sorry. Sorry isn't going to cut it. Not right now. Not tonight."
"No, you have to say something else. I am so mad at you. I can barely talk to you. I don't even want to look at you right now! You have to tell me something else or I'm leaving and walking away from all THIS right now." I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist.
"I...love...you, Cameron." His face did a complete 180* and he smiled from ear to ear.
"I love you too Jasen."
Just at that moment E was at my balcony and screamed,"YOO-HOO! I see you!" We both laughed and leaned our heads into each other. We kissed and while we were kissing he picked me up and spun me around and sat me down on his car. He leaned into me and kissed me passionately.